Letting Go is the Key to Freedom
June 30, 2024
Every time I’m lucky enough to sell a piece from my carefully curated furniture collection I experience two things. First, I have deep pangs of resistance – an unfortunate trait I’ve had my entire life. We’re not talking hoarding, but I do have a tendency to hang onto mementos from my life that are either of high quality or have significant sentimental value. I’m continuing to make progress in this area, depending on the ‘stuff’. Secondly, once things are gone, I never miss those pieces. Out of sight, out of mind.
Letting Go is a bit of a buzz phrase right now which makes me want to lean away, but the skill of letting go is too important to discount how freeing this skill actually is. In fact, if you dig down there under the words, there’s a whole heap of juicy wisdom and relief in learning how to actually do this simple-sounding act.
Fast forward to December 2022. I had decided to close my fabulous brick and mortar business and began to sell all that I could from my space. It was a roomy, industrial DIY workshop in a burgeoning part of our city. I had owned that shop, and leased the space for over fifteen years and quite honestly, I squeezed all the good out of it I could. After Covid, I realized I wanted to visit my kids more often in their respective cities all over the country. It was one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made. To me, that indicates it was a good decision. I’ve never looked back.
OK, now on with the point of this story. In the process of selling off all my furniture and other goodies within this 2000 square foot dream space, something beautiful happened. Each and every customer seemed to recognize and truly appreciate the value in their new purchase. With every appointment, I got to know a little about all of these people. After 15 or 20 minutes of chit-chatting, we connected through the love of vintage furniture, workshop tools, materials and more. Nothing earth shattering or political, just talking shop about a common interest. Those sales were such positive experiences, I’m certain that added to the ease of releasing my tenacious grip on some of my truly beloved pieces. I sincerely felt good about releasing what I deemed to be above average stuff to them.
My rational brain, which I’ve been learning a lot about lately, would poo poo my ‘take’ that my stuff was going to a good home and would be well-loved. A rational onlooker might assume that I endured that big change by choosing to view it all through rose-colored glasses. To that, I say ‘So what?’ All roads lead to Rome.
I don’t regret any strategy I used to let go. In fact, five years ago, I did the same thing with the big family home after my marriage of 35 years ended. If somebody like me could glide through that kind of emotional tsunami of a purge, clearing this shop was a piece of cake. I unloaded stuff to nice people, made some money, and cleared the space. I felt no regret about bidding adieu to my cool stuff. I checked all the boxes and moved on without remorse.
The important lesson learned from that experience, as well as the house dissolution, was that I really can still do hard stuff, (another overused buzz phrase right now, thanks to author Glennon Doyle.) Most of it I did myself, which isn’t necessarily heroic, but it did help rebuild some confidence that I was tenderly nursing back to health. This is way more than letting go of stuff, you understand. It’s letting go of positions, lives, times you’ve outgrown with joy and expectancy.
Today, it was a day to say goodbye to my good old, extra long, well made, upholstered bench. Was it difficult? No. Two reasons. One, it did its job many times over, and two, I can create one of these anytime I want to, one of the big perks to being a Maker with skills. Besides, it was really long and took up too much room. Practicality trades high in my book.
All of those reasons come from a more mature, rationally based assessment of where I’m headed in this last chapter of my life. If I let too much sentimentality rule my efforts to live more minimally, I’ll never reach that goal. Selling that bench to a delightful new ‘friend’ has already filled my heart with joy. She sent a pic of the new bench in her new house with her two dogs trying it out. How could anyone feel sad about that vision of ‘reuse’?
Takeaways:
- Letting go of the past, old things, things that don’t serve you any longer, bad habits, lifelong personality traits that affect others negatively, living staunchly in the mindset of ‘This is just how I am’ are dead ends. Once you hit 50, if you haven’t done some self reflection, it’s time to do a little personal assessment and take stock of where you are, who you are, who you want to be and how you want your life to look. You need to clear out the garbage to make room for the new, vibrant, exciting new life you’re planning.
- Things you dread in life can, and often do, turn out to be completely the opposite of what you predict. Usually, there’s an unexpected delight that emerges when we get ourselves out of the way.